SPLASH 'N' GRAB

WATER JOKE (and it's not even funny!)

"What became very clear last year in Yorkshire was how essential water is. Not just for humans. It's essential for everything, everywhere. It needs to be valued, not squandered, not least by private companies with a monopoly over its supply".

Diana Scott, co-ordinator, Yorkshire WaterWatch.

This Friday, the inquiry into last summer's Yorkshire Water fiasco will give its findings. It is unlikely that the conclusions will be too scathing, as the inquiry was funded by...Yorkshire Water! But the damage has been done. After years of shortages and plenty of warnings of impending disaster, people joined together in disgust of the drips who couldn't run a bath and formed Yorkshire WaterWatch. Parts of the county were close to introduction of rota water supplies, and tankers shipped in water from other areas.

Fat water bills have been bombing through letter boxes as the privatised utilities become more greedy. The average bill this year is �226, based on the rateable value of the property (pre-Poll Tax style) - with no account taken of ability to pay. For claimants this works out at �8.69 a fortnight! The head of Southern Water said, "The system is due to be changed by the year 2000, but we don't have any plans for what will replace it."

SchNEWS contacted OfWat, the industry watchdog, who told us: There's no way you'd use as much water as you pay for in a year, but the only way to cut the bill is to get a water meter - and they cost �99! But the company cannot physically disconnect the supply in most cases (especially in flats) and no-one has ever been jailed for non-payment. The maximum a court can take out of your benefit for ALL debts/bills is �6 a fortnight, so non-payment would mean you'd be �2.69 a fortnight better off! "The worst they can do is send the bailiffs round, but there are plenty of ways round that " OfWat told SchNEWS. (You can get a form for 50p to transfer your possessions to a trusted friend/partner/member of your family.) It has also been revealed that a third of Welsh people on pre-payment meters cut themselves off through poverty. However, there is an even worse plan on the horizon: water companies are now trying to install pre-payment systems into houses, especially into those of low income families, which means that the taps may dry up without any warning at all.

Stuart Derwent, boss of Southern Water, told SchNEWS they had done some experiments on the key meters on 100 people. Being pressed on whether key meters were a good idea, he told our dry witted scribe: "I'm not going to win this argument, am I?" Ask a stupid question...

This summer the underground water tables will be depleted more than ever, and less rain will fall to replace it. Basically, we're gonna run out, and lots and lots of people will be very angry when they've paid their bills and still gone thirsty. They might became a tad angrier when they see golf courses and bowling greens still sprinkling with glee.

* If you want to contact OfWat , call 'em on 0345 581658

"Every year, more and more water is needed... This has led to massive over exploitation in many parts of the world. In India, ground water levels in many states have declined by 5-10 metres. In the state of Maharashta, some 23,000 villages are now without water while in Gujarat, 64,500 villages suffer the same fate."

5000 Days To Save the Planet, by the Ecologist.

"A mere 250 years ago the River Mersey and it's estuary were abundantly stocked fishing grounds. However, since British Industry began to emerge in the late 18th century, Merseyside, often considered the cradle of European industrialisation, has been a by-word for industrial pollution, providing shaming evidence of one of modern societies worst habits - the abuse of rivers as cheap disposal systems for production waste. By the mid 1980's, and probably well before that, the Mersey was judged to be to all intents and purposes, biologically dead."

Greenpeace Book of Water.

98% of the world's water is locked up in polar glaciers, and a very good job too, or else there'd definitely be an end to the drought situation in Yorkshire. In fact, Yorkshire would turn into a modern day Atlantis according to most recent predictions of impending global warming. Only 1/5000th of the world's water is available for human consumption, and yet we still insist on treating this tiny proportion, on which we all depend, abominably. Industry, particularly the chemical, steel, engineering and textile sectors, use and pollute far, far more than domestic customers, yet all the guilt trips about saving water are laid on Jo(anne) Bloggs, rather than the Fat Cats.

*Yorkshire WaterWatch is the main grassroots campaign to address issues of water quality and ownership. Perhaps it's time something similar was set up in your own area?

Contact them at: 259 South Street, Rotherham, S61 2NW. Tel: 01709 558561.

*Friends of the Earth are doing work to identify sources of pollution. They have a wicked Internet site (Chemical Release Inventory) which identifies sources of pollution in your area: FoE home page - http:www.foe.co.uk. Their Local Groups Hotline is 0990 224488.

* Hands Off Our Water - the campaign against water privatisation in Scotland 0141 552 1179

*For more information on toxins, contact Toxic Alert: c/o Toxcat, PO Box 29, Ellesmere Port, S. Wirral, L66 3TX. Tel: 0151 339 5473.

* In the UK we use 150 litres of water per person per day in our homes. Every time the toilet is flushed, five gallons goes down the khazi.

* Every day 300 million gallons of raw or virtually untreated sewerage is pumped into the sea around the coast of England and Wales. One stretch of the River Lea near Luton, consists of 90% sewerage effluent.

* Welsh Water has the worst record in the UK for leakage�s from pipes - a staggering 37.8% of water supplies are wasted through old pipes. Even though Wales exports half its ample water supply to England, the continuing dry weather could even mean shortages there this summer.

* In 1992, 14.3 million people in England & Wales were supplied with drinking water with illegal levels of pesticides.

* The Baltic is one of the most polluted seas in the world: 140,000 square miles of it has been turned into an ecological wasteland, devoid of all life below 80 metres.

And it's not just water! There's been hundreds of rumours as to why there is an acute hash shortage in the UK - in the words of one dealer: "the worst drought in 15 years". Some rumours include: "It's a conspiracy by the breweries"; "There's been big busts in Gibraltar"; "3,500 Moroccans have been nicked after someone shot a copper" and "It"'s political motivation to replace hash with smack". send us yer conspiracy theories.

* SUNLIGHT SYSTEMS who sell gro-bulbs and cannabis seeds have supplied their mailing list to the Old Bill, resulting in the arrest of several home gardeners. You've been warned.

Yer party lovin' SchNEWS scribes have received new Home Office guidelines aimed at local councils and police forces regarding the "health and safety of young people at dance events and clubs". Amongst the predictable blurb about drug control, the circular advises that "at all night events, long events and during hot weather [organisers should] ensure that there are several adequate breaks with no music". Are they serious?! The circular also includes advice to organisers to liaise with police to assist them with surveillance, including the possibility of installing video surveillance equipment to monitor partygoers. Is it us or is the long arm of the law getting longer?

It also advises licensees NOT to provide information or facilities that "suggest that drug misuse is tolerated". Does this include Ecstacy testing, positive drug awareness and information strategies? In light of widespread confusion about the dangers of drinking water, while on E (too much or too little?), and the blind refusal of the government to introduce a comprehensive Ecstasy research programme, surely we should be trying to educate, rather than deny the existence of drug use.

* After the Tribal Gathering fiasco when Thames Valley police refused to grant a licence for the event, a petition is being circulated aimed at gathering over half a million signatures. A spokesperson said, "As anyone who has seen the Home Office proposals for the new legislation aimed specifically at dance clubs will realise the Tribal Gathering licence refusal is only the thin end of the wedge". Wake up and smell the coffee. Free parties are being curbed and trashed on a regular basis...it's your turn now. Advance Party phone number

* Hot off the party grapevine is the sad news that the Cambridge Festival of Fun at the end of July has been cancelled. We don't know why...but we can hazard a guess.

Costain are apparently due to start work (on what?) in July/August. There are currently 120 people still on route with 9 camps, and arrests are still occurring daily. Donington Castle, major symbol of civil war, was occupied by the 3rd Battle posse for 5 days, handing the keys back to English Heritage last Saturday. To cap off a busy week, a contractors meeting in Bristol on how to deal with protestors, was trashed. Those naughty protestors just won't go away!

* The horrendous task of trying to gather witness's to assist people nicked at Newbury is underway. If you saw anything, have photographic/video evidence, anything you feel is relevant ring the Third Battle Office 01865 45544 (check) Plus it's time to get the ball rolling for civil cases - assaults, wrongful arrests, illegal evictions, health and Safety aspects etc. Again ring the Third Battle Office for advice. Time to get on the case and not let the bastards get away with it.

Work was stopped at Tarmac's ARC quarry in Chichester at the beginning of the month when 21 Earth First activists D-locked the main gate shut and stormed the site, halting every lorry, crane and digger in their path. A chopper was mobilised and police gave chase, but no arrests were made. Tarmac, main suppliers of road stone to the Newbury Bypass, have plans for 2 more quarries in the area. Outraged locals are opposed to this destruction and EF! are planning actions. Last Tuesday, EF! returned, but police were waiting and made 9 arrests. All were released without charge. Contact Chichester EF! on 01243 771640.

The Mawhinney paint throwers were sentenced this week. The four people who turned the tables on Tory whitewash by whitewashing a Tory in protest at the Asylum and Immigration Bill, were given 24 hours community service. The other, in his fifties, was given 128 hours, because the judge said that he was old enough to know better! In throwing the paint in the first place, they have done a few moments of service to the community already!

The 10th edition of the legendary Squatters handbook is now out - published by the Advisory Service for Squatters. With 864,000 empty homes in Britain, squatting is a solution to homelessness and high rents, also creating space for needed community projects. Remember boys and girls, squatting is still legal, necessary and free.

�1 + 38p+p from ASS, 2 St Pauls Rd., London, N1 2QN.

* Meanwhile the court case for the land occupants in Wandsworth has been adjourned. Watch this space...01865 722016

Groundswell is a network of claimants and workers fighting against the introduction for the JobSeekers Allowance (coming your way in October)

A draconian piece of legislation aimed at intimidating and harassing the unemployed into accepting crap jobs with low wages. The Conference is on Saturday 25th May at Sheffield Co-ordinating Centre Against Unemployment, 73 West St. More info from: PO Box 446, Sheffield, S1 1NY

Albert Meltzer, founder of the Anarchist Black Cross, died last Tuesday. A.B.C is a network of autonomous groups supporting anarchist and class struggle prisoners. This was only one achievement of a lifelong political commitment beginning at the tender age of 15. Meltzer's autobiography I Couldn.t Paint Golden Angels and the classic Floodgates of Anarchy by Meltzer and Stuart Christie - are both published by AK Press & Distribution, PO Box 12766, Edinburgh, Scotland, EH8 9YE

24th May - 2nd June A celebration of subversion in east London - bands,films,cabaret, football, workshops, discussions, critical mass, exploding cinema + more Info + programme details from BM Active, London, WC1N 3XX e-mail : anarchy@phreak.intermedia.co.uk

For being a terrorist! Last Sunday, a Lyn Davies cycled - with multi-coloured balloons scrawled with felt-tipped slogans - onto the yet-to-be-opened Severn Bridge in protest of it's bicycle unfriendliness. Almost un-noticed, he sprayed a slogan and took a label from a packing case just to say he'd been there. Held overnight, his house was searched and he is up in court on June 18 for criminal damage and theft of the label!